GARDZIENICE (Agnieszka Mendel)

18|01|20

Alright. So now I need to write 1000w on the experience of working with Gardzienice. That’s a lot of words. Maybe it’d be a good idea to pad out the first few sentences, talking about how 1000w is a lot of words to write. About Gardzienice. 50 words in, good start good start.

In all honesty though, working with Agni and later Janek has been a unique one when placed beside the other workshops. Engaging with their work over multiple workshops has allowed their material to really ingrain within me – and others it seems, as we all impulsively break out into singing in the changerooms on a whim. If we were to have the same time extended period with another guest artist, would we also retain the information and material in the same way? There’s also something about using your voice that requires no preparation or suitable environment. Anywhere, anytime (almost), you can sing.

It’s also a testament to the unifying power of singing. You can go to any club or bar and see this in the masses of regular people – we all love to sing together. I love that we were able to hold onto this, despite some of the more trying times with the demands of the classes.

On that level, I wish we had been able to incorporate more of this into an actual physical performance. We did this to some degree for our final open class, but the physicality wasn’t really there. What I imagine is incorporating something like the Gecko group choreography with the vocals to have a moving landscape as well as a moving soundscape. We might not have been up to it as a class, but maybe with more time we would’ve.

It makes me really think about the importance music and an awareness of musicality has in the theatre-maker’s toolkit, too. I’m actually always a little surprised when performers don’t have some background abilities in music, as I think I’ve always seen singing/instrument work as going hand in hand with the performing arts. Firstly, I’m probably very privileged to have that viewpoint, but also need to stop assuming. At the same time, I think any previous training that involves rhythm is so important to being a flexible performer. For instance, even just walking on the same beat as other people can be difficult if you don’t have that background. In a more specific way, an awareness of this rhythm and musicality comes into play with all stage movement, akin to what Guillaume calls the dynamo rhythm. Having a sense of musicality in your movement can make something much more compelling and engaging for the audience. It’s come into so many guest artists’ work, even if not explicitly highlighted: Gecko, SITI, Pina, and Butoh all engage with this internal rhythm.

In my work, this rhythm is often quite externally visible, but maybe it’s time to play with it more internally.
Also, who knows when a job is going to come up that asks for singing ability – like, I wanna be able to apply for that.

Maybe I’m finding it difficult to write so in depth about the Gardzienice work, because it was largely familiar territory for me. If I’m being completely honest, I think I would always look forward to the Gardzienice classes because they were actually a bit of a respite after a long day. I’m trying to work out for myself whether this reduces the value of the time I spent on the work, and I’m thinking it was probably a matter of the time being beneficial in a very different way. I don’t think it was any secret that I understood the music more efficiently than a lot of others in the class, and there definitely came an interesting dynamic – such as Ragnar, someone who I look up to a tremendous amount as a skilled and committed performer, coming to me for help with some of the singing. This probably then allowed me to actually extend myself further in the singing, because I was running off a sense of validation and confidence that I may not have had in a room of skilled singers.
This success in the work from a place of confidence is something I’ve noticed a lot in the last year or being a maker and performer. Just having a confidence, however true or false, in what you’re doing often makes it more successful. At the very least, you could sell the idea you know what you’re doing. The tricky part is finding this confidence in things you might not be as well-versed in. Although, maybe you don’t want to necessarily have this confidence, as you might be less open to learning and adapting yourself.

I actually really hope we have some more singing classes in the future. Maybe not Agnieszka, as we’d have to keep flying her back in, and preferably not the vocal improv classes as I find they don’t teach much in the way of rhythm or tonality (you have to have an understanding before you can break something, and I don’t think our musical understanding is proficient enough to be breaking anything), but just some good old-fashioned group singing. For all the reasons above – and below – and the ones not mentioned because I’m drinking wine and losing my trail of thought, learning how to understand your own voice as a musical tool has such a wide-reaching applicability. It doesn’t mean we need to be able to sing tremendously well or anything, but just well enough to be able to riff and improvise with these tools. One of my greatest delights from high school music classes was my friends and I building chords with our voices at random parts of the day. Delightful. I miss being able to play with that tool, and I think now we’re done with Gardzienice I’ll miss it even more.

05|01|20

So, it sure has been a while since I wrote about Gardzienice.
Even though we’ve actually had more time with Agnieszka than any other guest artist at this point, I’m struggling a little to find any significant growth for myself in these sessions. It’s tricky with singing, because you can’t really work like you could physically, where even if someone isn’t necessarily nailing the exercise, they can still participate without disturbing the others. Singing has to be precise, otherwise the whole thing falls apart – somewhat like a ballet routine. You can’t get away with loosely hitting your marks and positions in ballet, because then it affects everyone else around you.

This has presented a unique challenge for Agnieszka, which I am not envious of, where she needs to balance a portion of the group with little to no singing experience, with a portion of the group who has decent singing experience. For a while it seemed like we were straddling the middle of the road, and neither portion was satisfied with the experience.

Once we split into two separate groups, it seemed to work really well – each group was able to progress at their comfortable pace, and much more was achieved. The difficulty then returns when these groups are asked to merge once again, as they are coming from very different places.

I’m not sure exactly how seeing this progress over the semester can benefit me or my practice, but maybe in the future I’ll be presented with a similar situation and understand one path that doesn’t necessarily work so well.

Since we’ve had both Agnieszka and [her partner] in the room, we’ve actually focussed a lot more on movement, and merging that with the singing. Maybe there’s a different disposition in the room with a new leader, but it does feels somewhat like the energy and willingness to work has grown.

Also, night run was fun. There’s something about the discipline-oriented style of training that works well for me, and frankly it’s a bit shit when others can’t work with it. I had hoped more of the class would’ve committed to joining us.
When you’re being tossed around in the middle of a chanting circle, on the windy coast of Estonia, in the black of night, you really get to reflect a little on how far you’ve come. Those moments are rare, and I’m glad I got to experience it.

18|09|19

Since the last blog post, our work with Agnieszka has remained grounded in learning vocal repertoire, although the range of musical styles we’ve learnt has expanded quite a bit. Throughout all of this rote learning, there’s been a very consistent mindset that Agni keeps encouraging, that is becoming increasingly clear – that is to become one in the “ocean of sound”. By this, she means that you need to be able to listen to yourself and sing the correct melody, but also to listen to everyone else at the same time, to follow any changes in rhythm, pitch, tempo etc.

Obviously, this is very music specific, but the underlying philosophy is one that has been brought to my attention in other forms. For instance, a lot of viewpoints training places emphasis on a group awareness that you build up through the viewpoint exercises, while even the current training with Marilena has a subtle reminder here and there of group awareness in amongst all the moving.
I think it can be very easy to forget the group, especially when you’re concurrently working so attentively on your own movements and singing, but it’s also so easy to tell when performers are switched onto each-other or not.

Beyond the obviously beneficial vocal, rhythmic, and tonal training – which has been immensely valuable, not only to myself, but to many others who have found more of a voice in the last week – this sort of training is simply wonderful for building up group awareness, and I don’t think it can be understated how significant this is for any sort of ensemble work.

I really hope we’re all able to dive into the “ocean of sound” together.

13|09|19

This first week of work with Agnieszka has felt oddly unremarkable for me. Maybe it’s tough to see its greater impact on me when also mixing around in my head with the relatively significant impressions left by Stacy’s work…

In saying this, there’s a bunch of practical learning going on: Agnieszka’s exercises repeatedly stress the integration of the body with the voice in all aspects of the sound making process. This week’s focus has been largely on tempo and rhythm control through stomping, and in the last few days there’s been the introduction with conducting and harmony.
What’s really interesting is the process in which Agnieszka takes us on to teach the concepts – as opposed to more traditional musical learning which grounds itself in theory, all of what we’re learning is imparted via copying and feeling. For me, this is wonderful, as I have always been a little antagonistic towards traditional musical theory. It’s not the part of music that’s fun, which is the feeling of it. Who cares what time signature or key something is in, as long as it is doing what you intend for it to do. Agnieszka even said as much as this in the few conducting exercises we’ve engaged in: it doesn’t matter what you do, as long as it is clear and intended.

Personally, this style is more a reinforcement of the skills and knowledge I already partially possess, but it’s quite fun to see how others with less musical experience react.

One particular exercise that impacted me took the form of two or more individuals whispering compliments into the ears of another who was singing blind. At first, it felt disingenuous, and extremely easy to take the piss out of, but once you actually listened to the singer’s voice, you could sincerely see so much to compliment them on. Not only that, but the singing became so much more confident and realised as the compliments kept coming, which was observable through the others, but also myself in the exercise.

It made me think more broadly about the ways in which we encourage process and work in the creative arts. Sometimes, I have been able to improve through the continuous pushing of myself towards an uncomfortable extreme, but then there’s just as many situations when the opposite is true: I improve through genuine positive encouragement.
Stacy’s sessions are an example of this, whereby there being no critical feedback, many of us have actually flourished in our preliminary work.
Maybe it’s a matter of timing – the beginnings of a project could be less critical to allow instincts and exploration to really free the performer, and then the critical work comes later when you need it?
Food for thought.